that girl .. Ima

Well, you must have heard about feeling degraded.. being soaked in sadness, a person  who is in party of among hundred guests and is still lonely and is wordless with fake joyful expression ..I know a girl who is like this .. but this didn't begin today.. at her being 17 .. it started since her childhood.
There are many people who say " you should move on " but the question out here is no one is dealing with past stuff , which could be forgotten and the person could move on .. how can anybody move on from whats happening always ? and the co-incidence is that it started since the tiny age. Ima from the day she entered the first institution of her life that we all enter " school ", was isolated somehow by her classmates .. I remember she always wanted to be with them.. she liked all of them but they didn't take her in their circle .. teachers said " oh dear Ima cant you make friends ?" It was always like " she couldn't make "  no one saw how she was forced to stay away ..how circumstances forced her to feel herself degraded and detached.
She was slapped ..beaten .. lowed by all.
Home was not so far .. but not even so good ..her mother was a angry possessive women ..she had irritating in laws, who effected her even she lived far away from them .. in a different country.
Her mother compared her with a girl living with her parents and brother as neighbors. " look at the girl staying next to us is so good , so smart , good in studies .. cant you learn something from her .. if not everything ...at least something and relief me "  said Ima's mother with a great shout and slaps on Ima's face.

It was Ima's greatest perplexity that what the hell was so good with that girl or rather we could say her anger made her imagine that girl " bitch ."  

 Ima wasn't  smart , she was shy ,who wrote slow in examination halls, tidy and was not enough sharp to understand any conspiracy .. diplomatic situations or critical circumstances early as other children could do. These were things which gave a chance to her classmates , parents , neighbors, teachers to humiliate her.. to make her feel how degraded , average she is .. 

Romantic songs and winter nights,                     
I hope this will come without any fights. Senior classes’ rude teachers, friend says, she’s bitch, just cheers! Gone away childhood with passage of time,its teenage, changing boyfriends are so fine! Bitching about best friend,

that’s what today’s trend.Shopping Malls, too much crowd,oh! Hansom’s all around.Best friend or back stabbers,

it really doesn’t so much matter.

Beautiful sky, no one looks, who remember mother’s cook ?

 She dies and all cries, 

but that evening passes away with French fries!

I love poems, they call me mad, 

they broke her bangles, and it’s nothing sad!  

Well .. isn't it  disheartening to be always excluded .. Isn't it problematic to be always feel ineligible to be a part of a group .. once said Ima .. " your life is not made to be in a group of friends and its not necessary that people will always like you , be with you ,there are many other important things to do, its not necessary that you will have friends , if you are lonely be alone .. dont say these unnecessary things to me and make my life hell " said Ima's mother. 

So its true that there are also other important things like career in someone's life but the question is , Is it the only thing .. and what the hell Ima did that she will always have to be excluded from discussions of a group ..

Ima at her school was blamed for a highly offensive activity which she didn't do, she was blamed for changing the level of a test copy ..after the completion of the school test she forgot to write her name in the copy ..but as she kept the copy on the submission desk and turned she remembered to write her name , till she came back another boy vikas kept his copy unnamed as Ima did..she thought vikas's copy hers and wrote her name mistakenly in his one.. later on the teachers believed that Ima intentionally did that as she wanted to gain more marks .. 

Ima cried ..urged to teachers that she isn't lying .. but nobody believed ..she was dragged to the staff room and badly insulted and humiliated ...whenever she cried , everyone considered it fake ..called crocodile tears.. 

she was daily asked sarcastically by all " what happened ?? what happened ?? " even they knew everything .. she was always disturbed by her classmates ..they unnecessary raised the topic.. everyone discouraged her ..led her down ..made fun of her ..but no one stopped them. she was disturbed even by senior classes as they even didn't leave her saying all those stuff .

All night she cried ..all day she remained disturbed. she passed 3 years in such morbid circumstances.

          After 3 years .. being 17 .. well, nothing is so changed but priorities are changed .. A friend ..a beloved ..a companion are only these pages .. there is realization that there isn't one life but thousands in these pages of literature.. 

solitude is much loyal to the excluded Ima and pages are more softer than anything else .. I swear girls " these pages are far more interesting than having boyfriends "